i guess i could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world...sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... and then i remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and i can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'm sure. but don't worry... you will someday.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Monday, April 26, 2010

we shared a cigarette somewhere......

Seclusions, self-induced, forget about the outside world, but sing, and smile, and dance. They won’t know you’re half-dead, or bored, or in a trance

One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it.

No my friend, darkness is not everywhere, for here and there I find faces illuminated from within; paper lanterns among the dark trees

Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.

“What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, 'This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!' Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anything more divine'?”

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Pornography hits the blind corner of
reason. It directly addresses our primitive fantasies, bypassing words and thought. The hard-on or wetness comes first, wondering why follows behind.
Self-censorship reactions are shaken. Porn images don’t give us any choice:
here’s what turns you on, here’s what makes you respond.