i guess i could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world...sometimes i feel like i'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... and then i remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and i can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... you have no idea what i'm talking about, i'm sure. but don't worry... you will someday.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

maybe. but i like it that way, i like the
numbness that comes with being exhausted, the oblivion, and the quiet chaos
exists only in my own head.
everybody elses problems are suddenly the
farthest from my own, because i have things to deal with too.
if i'm tired, i have a qualified excuse to keep
to myself at home, to evade the constant problems that don't concern me
sometimes i don't even need to try to block
things out, the exhaustion does it for me.
and i like that

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